Not the person I once was

Over the past couple of weeks I have begun to take stock of who I am as a person. I have noticed that I am not the person I once was. I often saw myself as happy, fun to be with and to use my humor as much as possible. I liked life for the most part and though some saw me as being pessimistic at times, I believe it was my defense mechanism to prepare for the rough times in life. As of late, I now see myself as an empty shell of who I once was. I feel like a failure, a loser and pathetic. My happiness now is forced and not genuine. I don't like this new me and at the same time I have no desire to change. My zest for life has left me, at least for the time being. Some say time heals all wounds. Maybe this is true, but the wound I feel currently is so consuming of me I can't even begin to imagine how much time it would take to heal. My spirit is broken, my faith in people is tainted and all my tears never seem to bring me any sense of relief from the pain that consumes my body.