Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Let's see how today goes

I have a feeling yesterday will be remembered (though I wish I wouldn't) as a day that I would rather not have experienced. It started off with me being in class and snapping at a fellow classmate. Now, I know it is hard for you to believe that I could do something like this, but yes it does happen from time to time. To make matters worse, the teacher reprimanded me in front of the class stating I should be nicer and I need to make sure people understand what I am saying. From my perspective, my face said everything and my mouth was just extra!!!

Much of the remainder of my day was spent purging feelings. I basically cried for 8 hours straight. Since I was having so much fun with it, I decided why not add some music to help get it all out even quicker. Enter Alanis and Tracy Chapman. The thing is, I cried a whole heck more but never felt any sort of release.

I woke up this morning and proceeded to release some more feelings and then immediately after my class it all started over again. Tonight Carsten and I are to meet up with a friend, but let's face it, if my eyes are red and swollen from crying I am not going out of the house.

My assumption is that you are wondering where all this emotion is coming from. Well, it appears that my time in Germany will likely be coming to an end soon and I am feeling really torn and upset by this. Since I tend to over-think things (one of my very few faults) I have avalanched (I don't think this is a real word but I'm using it anyway) into what my life would be back in the States and am picturing myself working at Wal-Mart back in my hometown. I guess it could be worse, which is probably where my mind will go today!

With that, I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has read my blog and provided me support and encouragement during this journey. Whether this experience has in fact come to an end has yet to be seen, but no matter what I want to thank you for sharing it with me.


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