Is this what it's like living in Seattle?

So far this summer we have had a lot of rain. Now, I can't say if it is more than normal, since this is my first summer here, but I do know that when it rains more than half of the days out of the week it is a lot! I wouldn't mind it so much, but since I have to use my bike to get everywhere, it is becoming quite irritating to always be wet! Today coming home from class for example, since so many puddles were on the street whenever a car passed me I was splashed with not only rainwater, but mud and whatever other crap was in the water on the street. When my clothes get muddy that is where I draw the line :)

My class was fine today. We had two more tests; one I did really well on and the other one was more like the final exam I will take in November. I passed it, but I did not do as well as I had hoped. I know, I know, I passed it and that should be enough. As Carsten tells me, I don't have to get it all perfect and the more I used it the better I will get at speaking and understanding German.

For the rest of the day I have no plans. It is raining outside so going out is not something I want to do. I don't feel much like cleaning and we don't have our TV here yet so I can't watch any DVDs, unless I use the computer. This is why I need to find a job! Well, because I'm bored but also because I need some green in my wallet.

Unpleasant news

I purposely neglected to write about these two things yesterday as I just didn't feel like it to be honest, but today is different. The first thing is not major, though costly. Previously I had written about our TV and how it was at the repair shop to see if we would be able to use it here. The answer is yes, we can use it, but only for watching DVDs. So, this huge 46 inch TV that cost a lot of money and that we had to pay extra to have shipped over here is not really all the usable. So, now we either need to have two TVs in the living room, our big one for DVDs and the smaller one for watching TV, or we need to purchase a whole new TV. Oh, and if you wonder why we don't just hook up our DVD player to the small TV, they aren't compatible since the DVD player came from the US.

The other news is that Carsten did not get a Green Card. We have been together for just over 7 years and for the last 3-4 years he has tried to obtain a Green Card for the US, which to keep things as simple as possible seems to work on a lottery basis. This year he went through an agency, but also was not picked to have a Green Card. It is disappointing, but it is what it is. Maybe next year will be the year?

So tired this morning!

Last night turned out to be quite a lot of fun and also a very late night. We went to Carsten's co-worker's place at 9:30pm and since it was such a great night we sat out on the patio and drank beer, ate chips and chatted. Basically the talking was only in German with a few brief moments of English. I tried a new beer tonight which was a Grapefruit beer. All I will say is don't judge it until you try it! It was so good and refreshing, if beer can be refreshing. What am I saying I am in Germany, of course beer is refreshing!!! Anyway, the night initially was difficult for me to follow all the conversations, plus I feel nervous to talk as I feel as though I am on a stage and everyone is waiting for me to make a mistake with how I say things. But as the night progressed I felt more comfortable, plus the co-worker's partner started to talk with me one-on-one and that is much easier for me when I have to speak German. For Carsten the time seemed to fly by although I was quite aware of how late it had become. In the end we made it home around 2am! But I would say it was worth it :)

I need to perk up!

Not only am I feeling a bit down, but I am tired to boot, such a bad combination! My teacher today asked if I was sick, I said no I was just sad. Like any respectable German she asked no questions, turned and walked away. If nothing else at least my experience with Germans is consistent :)

So tonight around 9:30pm Carsten and I are going over to one of his co-worker's homes for a drink. The co-worker seems quite friendly, as I have met him twice and found him pleasant enough. He comes from Russia, I believe, though he has lived in Germany for many years; I don't know how many exactly, but I do know it is in the double digits.

I have not done much today since my class ended. I did some homework, sent some emails and that is about all. Both cats are sleeping on the bed, which looks cute, but makes for little room for me, plus now their dang cat hair is everywhere I will need to clean it off. Are their cats that don't shed? Just curious!

On a completely different topic, my hair is driving me crazy! It has not been cut since Easter and has not been colored since September 2008. Needless to say, I ain't lookin' as pretty as I should! My hair appointment isn't until August 19th, when we are in middle-Germany visiting Carsten's mom. I have a picture all set that I want to come out looking like. It is a very European hair style, so let's see how it looks on me; assuming my hair guy can make it work.

My class is working my last nerve!

It should be quite obvious to anyone who knows me that I am a bit of an over achiever. Okay, so maybe a little more than a bit, but that's not the point here. My integration class is beyond slow, especially compared to my last German class. I have been working ahead in my workbooks so as not to become too bored; however, I have decided to no longer do that. Maybe 2% of the class actually does the homework assignments, which means we spend a good portion of class wasting time so those who didn't do their homework can do it in class. Then when we do the activities in the workbook, since I already have them done I don't have anything to do. So, between waiting for the other students to do their homework and then to do whatever is requested of us to do from the workbook, I end up spending over half of the class time just sitting there. I had thought that I would learn more by working ahead and spending more time focus on German, but that doesn't seem to be the case. What I do know is I have 9 more days of classes before I have one full month off; is it bad that that is what I am focused on right now?

The poll has ended

The poll from last week ended and the winner was reading about my weekend activities. The rest were all about the same in terms of percentage points. Now not only do I need to write more about my weekends, assuming I do more, but I also need to remember my camera more so I can take more pictures of the things I do ended up doing!

To the left is the poll for this week...enjoy :)

I want a do-over on this weekend!

I think some days challenge us on purpose just to see how much we can take and then to make the following day seem better by comparison. Although today was better than yesterday, I ain't jumping up and down over it :)

The weather here is a lot like in the Midwest; 90 degrees one day and 60 the next. I like variety, but it is hard to plan things outdoors when the weather is this sporadic. So, I spent part of the day watching movies and the other part we went for a walk. The first movie I watched was Ghost Town, starring Ricky Gervais. I love him and find his British humor quite funny. Initially I wasn't caring too much about this film, but after a bit it really picked up and had me laughing out-loud and also a bit teary at times. The other film I watched was Messengers 2: The Scarecrow. This was a direct to DVD sequel from the first movie, The Messengers, and thus you know it is a winner!!! Actually, it was just as bad as you would think it would be, but not worse. It reminded me of a bad TV movie at times, just with some blood and guts involved. Of these two, clearly Ghost Town is the winner!

The walk ended up being longer than expected. We were out for about 3 hours and in the time walked all the way into the downtown part of the city, stopped and watched a tennis match and then got an ice cream cone before walking back home. I really enjoy walking, jogging, biking, as I am able to better think through things while performing these activities. I have had a lot on my mind as of late and feel like I need to make some decisions about things. The bottom line of course is how long can I see myself not working? The problem is I haven't found a job in the US either, as I am currently looking both here and there for options. Clearly it makes more sense for me to remain here at the present time, but I also need to keep all my options open.

This day feels like it was mixed in a blender

Today was a day filled with ups and downs. It is always interesting to me how things can impact our mood and either make us feel really good or something else can happen and make things feel quite bleak. Today seemed to have elements of both smashed into a 24 hour period. The day began fine with me going for a run and Carsten running some errands. Once we were both back home we had a late breakfast and though it was raining outside (yes, I ran in the rain-thats just how dedicated I am), we decided to ride our bikes into the city centre to do some shopping. I am going to keep this part short and just say that this is the part of the day where things went bad. What I will say is that sometimes people make mistakes and it takes a big-hearted person to forgive those and move forward. Let's just say my heart is huge right now and leave it at that!

Anyway, since things were a bust shopping, once back home I watched one of my favorite animated shows, American Dad, which can always put a smile on my face. We also watched a couple movies today. The first one was a horror film called My Bloody Valentine 3D. Now, I don't have 3D glasses so I missed out on the special effects, which I am sure would have made this movie better, but even so I was still mostly entertained by it. It doesn't take much for me to like a horror film, but even so I still thought this one was quite good with some nice "death scenes." The other movie we watched was The House Bunny. This film was a light-hearted comedy starring Anna Farris. I thought it was a cute film and not the type of movie I would typically see. It does stereo-type beauty for a while, but does finally come around to the fact that being beautiful isn't everything. Thankfully I have beauty and brains (and am also quite modest) so I don't have to worry about these things. The one part of the movie that was distracting was Beverly D'Angelo. Her performance was fine, but seriously, how much work has she done to her face?!?

So, that's basically my day in a nut shell. Before I say good-night, I want to give a shout-out to Laura and saw thank you for listening to me today.

What I read

While I was away I read two books and have nearly finished a third. I prefer murder/thriller/crime stories the best, though these books fell more to the literature side of things. The first book was called The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. I really enjoyed this book a lot. It felt more like reading an autobiography of sorts than fiction. The next book I read was Depths by Hening Mankell. Carsten said he thought I would like this book a lot. I did like it but not a lot. I had thought I really disliked the book until I finished reading it and thought it over. Then I came to the conclusion that I only hated the main character. In short, he was an ass and it was basically impossible t fell any sympathy or positive emotion toward him. The book I am reading now is called The Cave by Jose Saramago. Not the easiest book to read, but none of his books are. I really enjoy his style of writing, but one really has to focus when reading them.

Funny dream; and then a not so funny dream

As always I have very interesting dreams. Last night's dream was no different. I was in school learning German and my partner was an actual girl from my class. This particular student I do not have fond feelings for and I often wonder how she makes i through life in general. If I was one to judge, which I am not, but if I was I would think of her as flaky. Some other words come to mind but flaky is good enough for now. Anyway, back to my dream. She and I worked together quite well and in my dream I told her "Wow, you aren't as awful as I thought you were. She just looked at me confused-like and didn't say a word in response. The funny part of this dream is that my teach for the class was super model Janice Dickinson. I had went up to her after class and told her I have read both of her books, which in fact I have done, and she responded with "Do you really think I care what you have or haven't read?" Gotta love her :)

My other dream involved staying at a woman's house who is a friend of my mom's, or at least she was in this dream. In real life I have no idea who she is. Once my mom left the scene I proceeded to tell this woman how much I didn't like her, which included some not so nice words and names. In the end, she tried to kill me and I was literally running for my life and hiding up in trees.

With that, good morning to you all!

What has happened?

I am sure that is the question most people who read my blog are wondering. Well, on Sunday, June 28th everything was working fine on the computer when we went to bed. However, on Monday, June 29th when Carsten went to start the computer, nothing happened. It was taken into the repair center, however due to some issues related to the warranty, it was not worked on immediately. Once the warranty issues were straightened out then we had to wait for the part as well as the technician who wold be working on it. In the end, the hard drive was shot and the on/off button stopped working. Thankfully (all because of Carsten) we had a back-up system and it appears that all is here and accounted for.

In addition to the computer, our big screen TV has also been in a repair shop to see if it can be made compatible with the German cable system. Thus far we have only been able to use it with DVDs. Let's home something can be figured out otherwise it was a huge wasted of money buying this TV in the US and then paying extra to ship it here!

Now, for a brief update, or as brief as I can be, about what has been happening here. In terms of my class, during the time that I was without a computer I had three tests. I managed to do well on all of them, with the first two having obtained a nearly perfect score. My last test was closer to an A-. Thankfully I am not a perfectionist :) The other school-related news is that I have the entire month of August off for a "summer vacation" of sorts. That makes me very happy!! Once I return to school at the beginning of September, I will have two months of class, with my last day on October 26th, followed by a major exam on November 7th.

Another thing that happened was I went to the dentist here in Germany. To say it had been a long time since going would be a huge understatement. I have not had dental insurance for much of my adult life and as such I have avoided the dentist. However, my appointment here went pretty well. It is done differently than in the US (shocking I know). Here you have to meet with the dentist first and then schedule another appointment with the dental hygienist for the cleaning. The dentist spoke nearly no English, but we were still able to communicate. He was very patient with me. The following week was my cleaning and all went great. No cavities, which is what concerned me most due to my candy intake. She spoke no English at all, but that didn't seem to stop us from being able to understand one another. I asked questions in my broken German and she responded slowly and repeated things when necessary. After it was all done I was in a great mood. I felt so proud of myself and much more independent. It was also proof of all my hard work trying to learn this dang language.

Time for some fun. Carsten and I went out dancing twice during this time. the first time was not as much fin as I had hoped. It was the night we spent so much time putting the piece together for the bed. We were both tired, but also felt like going out. It was so hot and humid, but we still went anyway. What made the night a downer was the music. Normally I put what song got me out on the dance floor, but honestly, this night I didn't know the first five songs that played while I was dancing. When I finally did know a song it was an awful remix of the song Miami by Will Smith. The other thing with the music this night was that they would only play about 2 minutes of each song before mixing it into the next song. Now, I love remixes more than anyone I know and even I got tired of this crap!! The other time we went out dancing was this past Friday night. I think I had a better time than Carsten, but it is my belief we both enjoyed ourselves. Anyway, the song that got me out dancing was an oldie. It was Ring My Bell by Anita Ward. I found the music to be a nice mix of songs with not too many current songs but also not too heavy on music from the past.

One of the highlights, after getting the furniture that is, was that Carsten and I went to a concert while our computer was on hiatus. We saw MIA in concert. It is no secret that I had no desire to go to this show. The short version is that Carsten asked me back when I first arrived in Germany if I wanted to see this band in Munich. I said no. He asked again once we moved to Freiburg and I said no. Well, last Friday night, before going out dancing, was the concert. I had an amazing time. Only one song was sang in English, the rest in German. I think I would have had even more fun if I understood what was being said, as lyrics are important to me, but it was still a blast. What made it so much fun was her stage presence. She looked like she was having fun, which made the audience have fun as well. Great show...which is a good thing as I am sure we will being seeing them again.

Okay, I think that is all the major events of the past few weeks. If I think of anything else I will of course write about it.

First things first

Pictures!!!!

To see pictures of your dining room, living room and now bedroom furniture, click here.

To see pictures of us struggling with the piece that is under the mattresses, click here.

My return to the World-Wide-Web has finally arrived!

I am finally back to the Internet after about 3 weeks away. To say that it has been rough is an under-statement. But now, that is behind me. I am going to do my best to provide an update on everything that has happened in the past three weeks and will also be posting some pictures of my new bedroom furniture soon. I have a lot of emails to get through and so it is just a matter of finding time to get everything done.

I decided to change the look of the blog page, as so much time has passed it felt like something new was needed.

As a snapshot as to how life has been here lately; good, but lonely. I rely so heavily on the computer to stay in touch with family and friends that when I didn't have it I could tell something was clearly missing from my life. I know some people were worried about me and I am sorry that happened. I tried to stay as connected as possible with people via telephone, which isn't always as easy with the time difference and things like that.

Oh, and thankfully Carsten is a computer nerd and knew to have a back-up; otherwise all my music, photos and everything else would have been lost. I mean, what would I have done without my music library?!?

Quiet time is now over

This afternoon I did some cleaning and then spent a few hours reading. I have been reading this book that I find rather good but it isn't an easy read. It has a few different stories going at one time and trying to keep everyone straight in my head is not always easy. I am about half-through the book, but at this rate it will take my at least another two weeks to get through it all. Other than that, not much happened today. Carsten arrived home at 4pm. We shared with one another what our weekends entailed, he sat in front of the computer and I made dinner. On Sunday night is a popular German crime series, which we try to watch as often as possible. Tonight was one of the nights that we were able to catch it. It was a good episode and I am able to understand and follow plot-lines better and better. But now, it is 11pm and I am off to bed. I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend as much as I have enjoyed mine!!!

What's one more slasher film?

It's Sunday morning, some people go to church and here I am watching yet another slasher film. This one is called Albino Farm. It is basically a combination of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wrong Turn and The Hills Have Eyes; only Albino Farm has even worse acting! I promise this is my last movie for this weekend.

The Movie Marathon Continues

My afternoon and evening was spent watching movies yet again today. How many you ask? Well, yesterday I watched four films and I decided that today I would watch the same amount. Yes, that means in two days time I watched 8 movies. I always thought it would be fun to be a movie critic and I think I was right. Even the movies that were just awful to watch seemed to have a purpose, which was most likely to make the other movies seem even better. The only way watching all these movies would have been better is if I was being paid to see them. Anyway, here are the movies I watched today from best to worst.

1. The Horsemen

2. Friday the 13th (2009)

3. From Within

4. The Cell 2

The Cell 2 was really awful and was worse than a bad made-for-TV movie. I saw nothing good in this movie. The other three were mostly good. Friday the 13th was a typical slasher film and From Within reminded me a lot of The Ring. The Horsemen however I found really quite interesting. It stars Dennis Quaid, who I think is a great actor. The film has several famous people in it and was just a good thriller.

For tomorrow I clearly need to find something to do. As much as I love to watch movies and really don't have anything else going on, I feel like I should try to be a bit more productive. Then again, maybe I will find something to watch and I guess that would be okay too :)

It's so humid!!

Today I went to the farmer's market to buy some produce. Even though Carsten isn't here, I am a big fan of routines so I went by myself. I bought plenty of veggies that should last most of the week, as well as some fruit. I then went to the store to buy some milk and the bakery for fresh rolls, which I will likely have for dinner tonight with some deli meat and cheese. Anyway, I was a hot, sweaty mess after riding my bike into town and I have yet to cool off. It isn't very warm and it will clearly rain (again) today, but the humidity is through the roof. And you know what this weather does to my curls...frizz city! Okay, as I am typing this I looked at the extended weather report for Freiburg. Well, it says we have rain showers today through Thursday. Umm, it looks like I will be getting wet riding to school next week. Seriously, I have never lived somewhere where it rains so much.

Back to shopping now. After the food shopping I went looking for the book I want and then of course looking for clothes. I stayed away from any CD stores, which is a big deal for me. I went to four book stores before finding the book I want. It's 8 Euros, and though I had 10 left on me, I didn't feel like spending it on a grammar book. I didn't find any clothes I really liked. Interesting fact, I have bought ZERO new clothes since living in Germany.

After the shopping trip today I came home, took out the garbage and swept the floors. The only mess around this place is cat hair and their dang liter box. I mean, I clean their liter box at least three times per day. How much waste can they possibly accumulate in one day?!?

Up and ready for the day

Well, after my last post, I didn't in fact go to bed. Instead I watched "Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy." Oh my goodness, biggest waste of time. I really enjoy watching Family Guy and I absolutely love American Dad; however this didn't even come close to being as funny. A huge disappointment!

When I woke up this morning I remembered one of my dreams. I am noticing a theme in my dreams and I can honestly say I don't think I am liking it. But I digress. Here's the dream:

Me and Carsten living together in Germany. He was in the shower and I walked into the bathroom to ask him a question only to find one of his friends watching him shower and talking to him. I started swearing, throwing things around and stormed out of the apartment. I was then walking around the city telling myself that I would be able to make it here alone and that I have nothing to worry about.

The friend in the dream is a real person who is a friend of Carsten's and lives her in Freiburg. I believe this dream is due to me watching the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" last night. Based on what happened in the movie and my dream, I am Jennifer Connelly's character, Carsten in Bradley Cooper's character and the friend in Scarlet Johannson's character. Interesting fact, I can't stand Scarlet and Carsten's friend is not high on my list of things I like either.

4th and final movie...for today

The last movie I watched today was The Haunting in Connecticut. Of the four movies I saw today this was my third least favorite. It was not that scary, nothing exciting really happened and overall it was just a yawn-fest. That said, I would still watch it before watching Blazing Saddles again. So, to rank the movies from today from best to worst:

1. He's Just Not That Into You

2. Saw IV

3. The Haunting in Connecticut

4. Blazing Saddles

He's Just Not That Into You

Clearly I am having a movie marathon today. No, I have not done much of anything else and I am okay with that. Anyway, I just finished watching the movie "He's Just Not That Into You." This is not my kind of movie, in general, but I absolutely loved it. I think Drew Barrymore is the best and wish she was in it more, but what can you do. I really dislike Scarlet Johansson and dislike her even more now. Don't know why, just don't care for her ever! And is Bradley Cooper not the most attractive man on the planet? Enough about the actors. It is a fun movie about dating and finding happiness; the film is based on a book by the same name. I never got around to reading the book, but if it is as good as the movie maybe I should check it out. If you like romantic comedies, I think you might enjoy this film. Is three movies in one day too much or do I have another one in me?

Saw IV

For someone who loves horror films, I am a bit behind on the Saw franchise. That being said, today I finally saw Saw IV and was pleasantly surprised. It was not near as awful as I thought it would be. I had not cared too much for the third one, which is why it had taken me so long to see this one. However, last year Saw V came out and later this year Saw VI comes out; clearly they are going to keep coming out and most likely I will continue to watch them all. I don't think these films are the typical horror movie. Yes they have blood and gore, but one has to really pay attention to all the details to follow the plot. I guess one could say it's like a smart persons horror movie. What movie will I see next? It is only Friday evening; I still have two more days to occupy myself before Carsten returns.

Blazing Saddles

I watched the film Blazing Saddles this afternoon. I had never seen it before and on youtube one is able to watch the entire film. I found the movie really quite racist. I had to keep telling myself that this film was made during a different time period; however, I was so offended by how often the "N" word was used. The best part of the film was Madeline Kahn. Honestly I think she is the best in anything she had been in. Take the movie Clue for example; she stole every scene (in my opinion).

After the movie I walked to the Post Office to mail my vitae to Switzerland. Of course during my walk there it started to rain. At least everything here is green and looks beautiful, which I guess it should with all the rain we have had. Anyway, it cost me 3 Euro (or $4.20) to mail three sheets of paper from Freiburg, Germany to Basel, Switzerland, which is 47 minutes away by car! Well, at least it is mailed off.

Let the weekend begin

It is Friday afternoon here and I am ready for the weekend. I have no homework to do and Carsten is out of the country so I have plenty of "me time" to look forward to. Today in class was a good day. I learned some new things and had an overall pleasant experience. After class I spoke with the teacher about my future in Germany, my experience so far in the country and my thoughts on the class. In the end she seemed to agree with me on my impression of the class and was hopeful about me finding work here in Germany. She also shared that my German is quite good for the amount of time I have been living here and in classes. That feels like a good way to end the week :)

So, for this weekend I have no real plans. This afternoon I will walk to the Post Office. I had wanted to go right after class but I forgot that all Post Offices are closed for 2-hours in the middle of the day, though the 2-hours are not that same ones for all of them. I went to two different ones, both had different open/close times and neither were open when I was there. Well, that is something I can do later today. Tomorrow I plan to go to the market and by some food and look for a German grammar book. On Sunday I will likely do some cleaning and possibly more laundry. In between these few things I might try to watch some movies or German TV. I'm feeling good both physically and mentally and am liking being in this place.

My thoughts on Michael Jackson after a restless night

I spent many hours last night watching Michael Jackson videos and listening to his songs, but at 2am decided it was enough. I have loved his music from Day 1 and even has his last official CD Invincible, which was panned by the critics and an overall flop. I had an acquaintance in Madison who would attend drag shows and perform, though not at a woman but rather as Michael. I guess what I am saying is I really liked Michael. I find his whole life truly sad and I feel bad for the life he had as a child, which wasn't much of a life and then had concern over choices he made as an adult. Many people focus on the child molestation allegations. As far as I know he was never found guilty and was acquitted the last time he went to court on the charges. Because he paid so much money to the family of the first boy who accused him many people assume he was guilty. Maybe, but maybe not. If someone accused me of something horrific and I had a ton of money and thought possibly I could make a big payment and have it all go away without having to deal with it, I might just do that. Clearly that didn't happen here as it didn't go away, but at the time maybe it seemed like the best decision. Whatever the case, he was a man with a tortured past who grew up to be a musical genius and who for whatever reason made significant changes to his appearance. I wonder who will raise his children now and if they will go into therapy to address their own childhood and the loss of their father?

Is it true?

It has been reported that Michael Jackson has passed away today. Such an icon and so sad for many reasons. Wow; I feel speechless!

A Bad Movie

Tonight I watched the movie Deadgirl. Possibly one of the worst I have seen. Ugh, it was so bad I was doing other stuff while it was playing. No, I didn't just turn it off, that would make too much sense. I played it until the end and then cursed the movie for being so bad. Why do I watch these types of films???

The most beautiful rainbow

Once the storm died and the skies cleared, the most amazing rainbow was visible from my apartment. I just couldn't stop looking at it. I went to take a picture of it, but Carsten took the camera with him. So just believe me when I say it was quite a beautiful sight to see.

Dealing with Sallie Mae

It never feels good to deal with student loan issues. But I thought I should take care of some business sooner rather than later. So, since Carsten had recently left for his trip to Switzerland I thought I would call Sallie Mae and deal with my issue. As I am waiting on the phone, for 10 minutes, it begins to storm like crazy here in Freiburg. Thunder, lightening, rain and wind all at once. A premonition, yeah I think so. Anyway, the reason I had phoned is that Sallie Mae has a new program beginning on July 1st. I downloaded the eligibility form however I was missing some of the necessary info and after looking for it on their web page and not finding it decided I would just call. The reason I am all about this program is that it is based on one's income and after 25 years of repayment, what is left can be erased. Right now I am on a 30-year plan and struggling to make payments, so having a lower payment and possibly having some of the debt erased sounds good. So, back to my call. Someone finally answered and said that their name is Season. I know someone named Season but that is a story for another day. It is not clear to me if this Season was a male or female. I think they may have come from India, but that was not clear either. The person was nice enough, though at first was not all that helpful. I said I need the amount of what my loan was when I first finished school and began paying. And then for him/her to take that amount and tell me what my payment would be on a 10-year plan. He/She informed me they can not help me with this program until after July 1st. I explained the information I needed was not to enroll in the program only to see if I was eligible. The representative said that didn't matter and that the information I requested was unavailable. So I said, "You mean to tell me you can't access my account or how much I owe you?" Then I was given current information. Fine, no big deal that was right in front of me on my computer screen anyway. So then I asked the representative to tell me what my monthly payment would be if I switched today from a 30-year plan to a 10-year plan. I was put on hold for another 7 minutes and then told my amount. Once I regained consciousness I thanked Season for their time and wished them a pleasant day. I was asked if I wanted to participate in a survey about my experience. I said yes, as I always do (don't ask me why) and then I was disconnected. In the end, I appear to be eligible for this new program, no duh, but I have to wait until after July 1st to actually apply and send in the necessary forms to find out if I am officially accepted. Based on the information on the worksheet I downloaded from their web page, I could potentially save $700 per month!!!!! Can I get an amen?!?

Feeling sad over Farrah

I just read that Farrah Fawcett has passed away after battling cancer for three years and though I didn't know her, I feel sad. It was the same way with Bea Arthur. It is weird sometimes how we can feel like we know someone when clearly we don't. So I have seen Charlie's Angels a hundred times and Golden Girls even more times, it doesn't mean I know them, but one does feel sort of connected to them. They brought laughter into my life and provided entertainment and you know what, sometimes that can really make some one's day. If you don't believe me, just watch this clip of Bea Arthur. How can you not laugh at this?!?

One more week

One week from today the bedroom furniture will be delivered. We were told that it would take them 5 hours to put everything together. Thank goodness I don't have to deal with that! My job will take place on Thursday where I will have to move all our boxes of shoes, piles of clothes and mattress from the floor into other parts of the apartment so I can sweep, mop and make sure the bedroom is spotless before the furniture arrives. Hmm, that might be the longest sentence I have ever written?!? Anyway, it was May 15, 2008 that the movers came to my apartment in Chicago and moved all my stuff out. That means for over one year I have been living out of suitcases, boxes, etc. To say that I am excited about have the furniture arrive would be such a gross understatement. My goal to feel settled might become a reality sooner rather than later!!

My German CV

I had my teachers from my Integration Course read over my CV to see if they had any suggestions or feedback. One of them said I am way over-qualified for the position but also understands why I am applying. As good as it feels to hear I have too much qualification, it can also be scary as it makes me think that could be a valid reason not to be hired. Well, worse case scenario is I start turning tricks for chips.

More quiet time on the horizon

Tomorrow evening Carsten is leaving for Switzerland and won't be returning until Sunday afternoon/evening. That means four days of peace and quiet. Not that Carsten is loud and obnoxious, but it is just easier around the house when it is only one person. No cooking and cleaning, no sharing the computer, things like that. Oh, and as for why I am not going. Well, first I wasn't invited, but for good reason. He is going to CERN, where colleagues from his work in Chicago will be. They will be talking all about physics and as hard as this may be to believe, I could care less about that subject. Plus I think it is important in a relationship for one another to have time away and do their own thing. Absence makes the heart go wander, I mean grow fonder.

Such a beautiful day

After living in Chicago for so long, I forgot what the season of spring is really like. I mean, in Chicago we have one week of rain and possibly some flowers will bloom and then bam, it's like 90 degrees and everything fries. However here, we seem to have spring and lots of it. The weather is comfortable, warm but not too hot (mid 60's) some sun and so far today no rain. I would normally say today is perfect running weather, but I am waiting to run until I know for sure my body has healed 100% after the past couple of weeks.

Anyway, for the past couple of days I have been working on my German Curriculum Vitae. It has been much more work than I anticipated; a German C.V. is very brief compared to the US version and of course needs to be in German and not English. However, I think it is finally complete. The reason for wanting this done is that I have found a job teaching English to preschool age children and think this would be a great position for me. So, keep your fingers crossed that something positive comes out of this!

Some days are better than others

And today folks is one of the better days. My class went much better, was less review and it felt like we were actually doing some work. She did give us a POP Quiz, but I am hopeful that I did well enough. I should find out on Friday my results. Plus, the teacher finally told the students who talk non-stop in class to shut up. Well, she was more polite than that, but her way was effective as well. It feels good to feel as though we are finally doing something new so my learning can expand and not feel so stagnant.

But the even better news...the bedroom furniture will be delivered on Friday, July 3rd. I can't wait!! Now, we must go buy some new bedding so in 10 days I can be sleeping in my new bed :)

Another dream revealed

When I woke up this morning I remember a dream from last night. In this dream, I was living in Baraboo, WI (my hometown) and I was opening a group home for adult male sex offenders to live at when they were released from prison. Some of my clients from Chicago were moving into the house. I arranged for chores to be completed in the morning and then therapy sessions were in the afternoons. I had a schedule made and everything was precise and exact. The house was close to where my mom currently lives and strangely enough I seemed really happy with all this.

The bitchiness returns

To be fair, I am not sure if my bitchiness ever really left or was just covered by whatever crawled inside my body and died. Whatever the case, now that I am feeling better I am back to my normal self, as abnormal as that may be. So, when my class ended today I decided to talk with my teacher about some of my concerns with the class. This has been on my mind for a couple weeks but I never felt up to it until today. So, we had a short but concise conversation. It was not clear to me how much she really listened to me, as she kept talking over me and wold just shake her head and look away. I spoke to her in German and she would respond in English, so I know that she at least understood some of what I said otherwise her responses wouldn't have made sense to me. Well, I guess we will see what tomorrow brings for the class.

Other than that, my day was pretty uneventful. I did homework, cleaned the apartment and prepared dinner. Tonight I was quite tired, so I am about to go to bed...geez, it is even still light outside. Well, at least I stayed awake past Wheel of Fortune :)

One survey ends and another begins

Two weeks ago I posted a survey asking which Scooby Doo character you thought was my favorite. The answer was Velma and that was also the most frequently picked response. Last week's survey asked which was your favorite Pet Shop Boys song of the ones listed. Since we had just seen them in concert, this survey made sense to me. Anyway, the song picked most was West End Girls. The new survey is on the top right corner of the page, check it out!

Thank goodness for calling plans

Now that I am back among the living, I have spent many, many hours on the phone reconnecting with loved ones back in the US. If we did not have a calling plan, I know Carsten would have taken the phone away and hid it somewhere. Today alone I was on the phone for roughly 4 hours. It was great talking to those I was able to reach and I hope to talk with everyone else soon!!

Happy Father's Day

I would like to wish all the dads out there a Happy Father's Day. This dude on the right is not some weird cowboy I met here in Germany; no, he is my father. I don't think he is reading my blog, but if he is; I hope he knows how much I love him.

A Pretty Decent Day

I am starting to feel better today; actually better than I have felt for the past two weeks. I slept well and eve slept in late today, which helped as well. The weather was moderate, mostly sunny but not to warm. After breakfast we went into the city centre to the farmer's market and to do some shopping. One thing I have noticed is that shopping for food here really takes a long time. My guess is that is because one doesn't buy everything from one big store, like a Wal-mart. Baked goods from the bakery, meat from a meat market, produce from a farmer's market and then the rest at a grocery store. So, as expected, Carsten went to the bakery and meat market as I was rolling out of bed and then after returning home from the farmer's market and putting everything away we then went to the grocery stores. Yes, we go to two as it saves money and we can have more/better options in terms of what we buy. Once we finally made it home, Carsten talked to his mom on the phone and I watched some TV. Later we ate dinner and watched a movie that we rented earlier in the day. We got a movie that I wanted to see last year, but Carsten has had no desire to watch. To my surprise he agreed to finally get it today. Of course it was a horror film!! The film was The Strangers. Overall I think it was a pretty good movie, I mean, I did tinkle a little bit in my pants, which is always a good sign. It is a bit of a slow movie and doesn't rely on gore but rather on sounds, music and acting to cause fear in the audience. I rather enjoyed the film, though Carsten was beyond displeased with it. Sucks for him :) If you like horror films, you would probably enjoy this film but if horror is not your genre, skip it.

What would I be arrested for?

This week I sent out an email asking people what they think I would be arrested for, if that should ever happen. Well, that results are interesting and many seem to have a similar theme to them. What are people trying to say about me??? Anyway, here are the results:

• Drinking
• Indecent Exposure (as if seeing my naked body would ever be a crime or indecent...please!)
• Going postal on a Sallie Mae representative and/or Oprah. The second choice was Indecent Exposure.
• Indecent Exposure
• Drunk and Urinating in Public
• Public Sex (hey, at least I would be getting some)
• Public Nudity
• William Hutter Arrested for Organizing Massive Group Stripping Rally at Starbucks--film at 11pm

Clearly people think I am some sort of sex crazed, naked guy who likes to drink and pee in public. Boy, you guys know me so well!!!

One Word

A couple weeks ago I sent out an email to a cross-sample of people in my address book. The email asked people to describe me in one word. Here are the words that were sent back to me:

* Honest

* Cherished

* Lovable or Crazy (depending on the mood)

* Defiant

* Lovable

* Loved

* Amazing

Thanks for the kind words...except for the one of you that thinks I am defiant!!!

Quiet time is almost over

This morning it was raining so hard and all I wanted to do was stay in bed and forget the rest. However, that was not an option. I did manage to get myself to school and by the time I arrived I was soaked! To make it clear just how soaked I was, when I left 4 hours later to come home my clothes were still wet!!! Once home I ate a bit of lunch and then went to bed. I have had mono before and thus I am quite sure I don't have it again now, but something has clearly entered my body and is causing it to breakdown.

Anyway, as for the title of this post, it refers to Carsten returning home late tonight from his conference. We have no concrete plans for the weekend other than the normal Saturday shopping. That means going to the farmer's market in the city centre for produce and then the grocery store for our 'staple' foods. Carsten typically goes to the bakery and meat market earlier in the morning, which is fine by me as looking at all the meat in the market is a bit gross to me. I mean, I like to eat it, but I don't want to see it raw!

A Glimpse Into My Psyche

I have been known to have some pretty vivid dreams and for a few years I had my dreams analyzed. It was very interesting and also provided more insight into my thinking. In school I took classes on how to interpret dreams and would also do some of this with my clients. That being said, my dreams last night were very interesting and I think captures some of what I have been feeling as of late. So, let's begin.

My first dream involved me logging onto my bank account on the computer only to find out that someone had cleared out all my money from my bank in Chicago. In my dream I was quite angry that the bank didn't notify (call) me that this was happening. I thought about identity theft and wondered what else was happening with my name, credit, etc. I was abruptly woken up around 2am to my phone ringing. My initial thought was, "Oh my God, this is the bank calling about my account; it wasn't a dream after all!" I did not get up to get the phone as I was too scared that all of this was real and not a dream.

My second dream entailed me living in Germany with Carsten and having three friends come to visit me. The three friends in real life are people I went to school with in Chicago; however, we are no longer friends. In my dream Carsten informed me that he wanted a divorce and that I was to move out immediately. He said, "I've found someone else and have no more use for you." I started crying and ran to my friends, who were out shopping in the city. One of the friends held me and told me "Well, I never liked him anyway and I knew this would happen." In my dream I was upset about "wasting my time in Germany" and that by moving here I had "sealed my financial death." I had no means to get back to the US and the last part I remember from the dream was walking around aimlessly here in Freiburg.

So, it;s not even 7am yet and this is how my day is starting. To make matters worse, the yellow mucous is back and my throat is worse now than before. I am running low on medication, but I think once Carsten gets back I might have to bite the bullet and go to a doctor.

Trash TV at its best!

I have been known to watch some pretty trashy TV shows, especially recently with the limited number of English language options available to me. However, I think I may have gone a step lower. My new favorite is New York Goes To Work, on VH1. It is clearly done in a way to be more entertaining, as no one can possibly be that lazy! However, every episode I have seen cracks me up. She is ghetto-tastic!!

Oh, and as for what I have been doing with Carsten gone, not much of anything. No cleaning and no cooking for me! It's just been listening to music, going through my I-Tunes music library and sitting out on the balcony. If I didn't have school and homework this could be a vacation :)

So peaceful

Carsten left this afternoon for a conference and won't be back until late Friday night. Party in Frieburg...hey!! In Chicago we often had time away from one another and though it was a pain at the time, now I think it was quite pleasant; thus I am looking forward to having alone time to just be without cooking or cleaning for someone else. So, it is me, the cats and my jams for the next four days.

Oh, and I received a box of goodies from another bestie, yes you Laura, and it put such a huge smile on my face. We had just talked about peanut butter and how they don't seem to have it here. Well, she sent me a jar of peanut butter and several boxes of my favorite candy (sour patch kids!!!) so now I know what I will be eating for the next four days. And coincidentally I had just bought English muffins at the grocery store not 10 minutes before the mail came with my treats.

No sleep for me

Well, it was either from the excitement for Alica's visit or because Carsten snored so dang loud, but whichever it was, not much sleep was had by me last night. Funny too since yesterday I was chatting with my aunt on-line about sleeping and snoring bed-mates. Oh well; tonight will be better!

Giddy as a schoolgirl

Yeah...one of my besties is come to Germany to visit me. She will be here the last week of August and I am already setting up an agenda to make sure she has the best time here. It is my second visitor since moving to Germany and my first in Freiburg. Oh, so much excitement how will I ever sleep tonight?!?

Men's Health

For some important information on Men's Health, click here. As someone who rarely goes to the doctor, this research really makes me think I should change my ways!!!

A new week

Today is a rough day. After the long day yesterday and getting home so late and then still needing to eat something before going to bed, does not make for a good start to the week :) It doesn't help that I am still not feeling terrific and the weather is cloudy and rainy (perfect for sleeping!). Oh well, stuff must get gone. So, now that I am back from school and finally dry after riding my bike in the rain, I can eat some lunch and then get my chores done. The list today includes vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, and taking out the garbage. All of it should be pretty doable, assuming I can stay awake.

Was it worth it?

The Pet Shop Boys (PSB) outing yesterday was quite the experience. Here, let me recap it for you now.

To start with, we left shortly after 3pm to get there, although the show didn't start until 8pm. No, it wasn't because Carsten was so giddy we had to leave as early as possible, or at least that isn't the reason he gave me. We weren't sure how the traffic would be, if we might run into construction, etc. Plus, it is already a 2 hour drive on a good day to the city where the show was. It was probably a good thing that we did leave early as once we got to Stuttgart, we got lost trying to find the theater. Even though we had directions, one thing I have noticed is that Germany is not big on street signs. Eventually we found where we needed to be and go to the theater with a little bit of time to spare. So, the doors open at 7pm and we we got in line around 6:30pm or so. You might wonder why get in line if we have a ticket. Well, because shows are standing room only and so if you are like Carsten, you want to be as close to the stage as possible, no matter how dang hot the room is going to be :) So, we waited in line until 7pm, got into the theater and close to the stage and then stood there waiting until 8pm when the opening act came on stage. As for the opening act, loved them!!! They were called Das Gezeichnete Ich. The lyrics were all in German, but it didn't matter. They sounded great, especially with the added string instruments. They finished playing shortly after 8:30pm and then the stage was cleared off and then set up for the PSB. At 9:15pm they finally took the stage and played until shortly before 11pm. Here is a list of the songs they played during the show, though some were only 1-2 minute samples:

1. Heart

2. Did You See Me Coming

3. Pandemonium

4. Love Comes Quickly

5. Love, etc.

6. Building A Wall

7. Go West

8. Two Divided By Zero

9. Why Don't We Live Together?

10. Always On My Mind

11. Left To My Own Devices

12. Closer To Heaven

13. King's Cross

14. The Way It Used To be

15. Jealousy

16. Suburbia

17. All Over The World

18. Se A Vida E (That's The Way Life Is)

19. Viva La Viva (A cover of a Coldplay song)

20. It's A Sin

21. Being Boring

22. West End Girls

So, the best parts of the show were the dancers and the set design. It was simplistic with the white boxes all over the stage, but since they were knocked down and rebuilt during the show they really became a big part of the act. And the dancers were just fantastic. The dancers during the last tour I found to be just awful and almost like a joke but these were spot on with their moves and energy. As for the downside of the show, the set list was not my favorite, as I like more songs form the CDs Very, Nightlife, Release and Fundamental, but with as many songs as they have it is hard to do them all! The other down side was the sound. This venue was not the greatest in terms of sound quality. I assume in a better venue the show would sound much better; at least that is my hope.

Now, to answer my question of was it worth it. Definitely!! However, after the show we still had the drive back home. We finally made it home a little after 1am (remember we left a little after 3pm). Crazy, huh?!?

PSB

Tonight Carsten and I have tickets for the Pet Shop Boys concert happening in Stuttgart, Germany. I wish I was feeling better, but alas that is not the case. I will still go to the concert and deal with the consequences afterward. I have seen the Pet Shop Boys once in Chicago and enjoyed the show, for the most part. Carsten is a much, much bigger fan of theirs than I am. Think my obsession with Madonna circa 1990 (basically 1984-2004)!!! Yeah, he is still that obsessed with them even now. Well, time to rest a bit before we leave for the show. I will write tomorrow about how it all went down. Tschüss!

Death has set up camp

It is clear that either death is inside me and not wanting to leave or something else as gone and died somewhere up in my beautiful body. Seriously, this cannot go on much longer. Plus, if I sleep much more people are going to think I'm in a coma!!!

Death has crawled in

I feel like total crap today! According to Carsten, "you're just not used to the German bacteria." Hmm, okay?!? Anyway, I am not writing more today as it takes too much energy to try and think and after my class this morning I am no longer able to think. Have a great weekend everyone!

Yet another public holiday here

Today's holiday here in Germany is Corpus Christi. All I know is I am glad that I don't have to do anything today as I feel like crap and have zero energy. No running today, no cleaning and no biking. I am either laying in bed or on the couch all day. Well, except for right now when I am in front of the computer :)

My immune system has crashed

Carsten was sick for two weeks and at the start of this week was finally beginning to feel better. This past Friday night/Saturday morning I was beginning to feel the early stages of a cold or something approach. My thinking behind being sick for many years has been 'mind over matter.' That being said, although I have felt like crap this week, I have continued with my daily running and regular day-to-day tasks. However, tonight I cannot sleep, I cannot breathe very well and I feel hot and achy all over. Funny thing I can't sleep tonight after finishing a book about an insomniac :) Anyway, I am glad I don't have school tomorrow as I don't think I would be able to ride my bike there and have enough energy to pay attention in class.

Something I have noticed is that I am sick much more frequently here in Germany than I ever was in Chicago. I worked a lot there and wonder if I just didn't 'let' myself feel sick. At any rate, it seems to me that I am ill or something quite often here. Maybe it's all just psychological in nature.

Another book finished

Tonight I finished the book, The Man In The Dark, which I began reading this past Sunday. The is the first book in several months that I have read that hasn't been a murder-thriller-mystery book. Carsten had thought I would hate it, but in fact I found it to be quite an original story and an interesting approach to creating characters. It is about an older man who is an insomniac and the book goes between his life and the story he makes up at night while he lays in bed awake. The entire book takes place during the course of one night. According to Carsten, he thought I wouldn't like it because the author jumped back and forth between the main character's real life and the story he was telling. The funny thing is this actually made it seem more realistic to me.

Some pictures

Clearly I couldn't wait. So, click here to see some pictures of the new furniture.

It looks fantastic

Soon I will have some pictures of the new furniture. In the mean time, you will just have to trust me that it looks great. Our next step is to buy something to hang the TV on the wall and to buy a new rug for the dining room. I doubt I can wait until all that is take care of before I snap off a few pictures.

So, as you may have noticed I made some changes, additions, to my blog today. I added some things to make it more fun and less about me; I know, hard to believe I would even think of doing something that didn't revolve around me. Though since it is my blog about my life here, I guess it still is all about me :) Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the changes.

It's here, it's here!

I got home from class today and the new living room and dining room furniture has arrived. No, I don't have pictures yet, but as soon as everything is in it's place and is all cleaned up I promise to post what the "living" area looks like now; without cardboard boxes. Now, we just need to bedroom furniture to arrive and I think we might have ourselves a real 'home.'

An odd start to the day

It's a Monday, so one never really knows what to expect, but today just seems a bit off and it isn't even 1pm yet.  I woke up this morning feeling unsettled and sluggish.  Got to school and just didn't want to be there.  Thankfully we have another short week again this week.  Anyway, shortly into the day the teacher asked me to come up in front of the class and help her with the lesson.  Flattering, but I wasn't in the mood.  We have a 15 minute break everyday in the class and after the break today the teacher had the class discuss the other teacher and voice any complaints we might have with her.  I really like the other teacher, she is the one I had at my other school, and it felt really weird to be talking about her when she isn't there.  My teacher today is the "boss" so to speak and it seems wants some information about the other teacher.  She also stated that she will be observing one class when the other teacher is there.  Anyway, many of the students don't like the teacher and so many mean things were stated.  The one student who I have found to be quite "witchy" from the start did most of the bad-mouthing.  I couldn't even look at her.  She even brought me up in her rant how I just sit there and do nothing when everyone else is working.  That is true, but that is only because I do my homework (and extra work) at home instead of using the class time for that.  She doesn't know this, but the teacher did so I didn't feel any need to address her point.  Also, two weeks ago this same student came to me complaining of the teacher we were now talking about.  I told her that if she has a problem, she should talk with the teacher as she is understanding and is there to help.  Based on what she said today, some of the things being untrue and even verified to be untrue by other students, she clearly did not speak directly with the teacher.  It shocks me how immature so many of the students are in the class.  For example, if someone sits in a seat that you sat in yesterday, a big scene is made, as if you own the dang seat.  GROW UP!!!!  Jeez, it is so irritating at times.  Now, I am not saying I am perfect, that is just implied, but still we are all adults in the class and should try to act it.  

Enough of that.  Now I have to super clean the floors so that it is all nice and tidy for when our new furniture arrives tomorrow.  Soon I can eat at a table instead of over a card board box :)

Starting a new book

Well, I have decided which book to read next.  It is Man in the Dark by Paul Auster.  Carsten doesn't think I will like the book, but based on my limited options at the moment it will have to do.  It is a short book, roughly 200 pages, so even if I don't like it not too much time is lost.

Finished another book today

We have had storms off and on yesterday and today.  So, what better way to occupy the time than to read a great murder mystery.  I have recently (just since this past Christmas) started reading books by Henning Mankell.  At this time, I think I have read four of his books.  The one I just finished reading today, The Return of the Dancing Master, was fantastic!  It is a murder mystery that also involves a political element, specifically Nazi-ism.  I think I spent at least six hours today reading this book, as I was unable to put it down for the last half of the book.  I kept saying, "just two more chapters."  And in the end I finished it all.  Now I don't know what I will read.  We haven't unpacked all our books, since we don't have a book case yet, so I can't even see what books we have here that I haven't read yet.  I probably should look into finding a library here and see if they have any books in English that I might be interested in reading.

IMS

I hope you are sitting down when you read this next sentence.  Sometimes, though rarely, I can be a raging b*tch.  After doing some research, I think I might have male PMS.  And no, I am not saying this lightly.  I seem to have many of the symptoms listed and as Carsten can attest to,  I have been more irritable and angry.   And today was no different.  I snapped at Carsten several times due to feeling hypersensitive, angry, and irritable.  Since I feel anxious most of the day every day, I don't think this is a real symptom for me.  So, now I am not sure what to do with this information.  The strategies for combating this is watch your diet, get enough sleep, and exercise.  Which when you think about it, shouldn't everyone be doing these things anyway, male or female?  Anyway, the best part of today was apologizing to Carsten for being more irritable than normal and then getting angry with myself for feeling like I need to apologize for my feelings, which only made me more angry in the end.

Pink Party

Last night Carsten and I went to the university dance party, called the Pink Party.  The last time we went to one of these a couple months ago it was so beyond fun.  The music was fantastic and it was just an all around great time.  So, going into last night I assumed it would not even be able to compete with the last time we were there.  Well, I was right!  For the first two hours the music was mediocre at best.  After two hours of standing around and waiting for a good song, I decided to start my dancing with this song.  The music did eventually improve but it was no where near as good as the last time.  Carsten and I still managed to stay out dancing until the wee hours of the morning, finally making it home and going to bed shortly before 5am.  And this morning, up out and of bed by 10:30am!!!

Some good news :)

I just received an email from Carsten that our living room and dining room furniture is in and it will be delivered next week Tuesday.  We still have 4-6 weeks before the bedroom furniture comes in, but still, it will be nice to start having things look and feel a bit more settled.  YEAH!!

Let's talk money

Like many people, most of my anxiety, stress and depression is related to finances.  For me, my student loan is responsible for 98% of these feelings, with the remaining 2% accounted for by normal money angst.  So, I have been trying to figure out how to best address this.  Before I get to that though, let me explain the current situation.  My student loan amount is roughly $200,000.  I have 30 years to pay it off and I must pay interest during that time, which will cost another $100,000.  That means in the end I will have paid $300,000 for my education.  Now, I have been paying on my student loans for three years now.  Of course my monthly payment goes first to the interest (they need to make sure they are getting paid) and then a little goes to my principal amount.  My monthly payment is just under $1000 per month, which I have been paying now for three years.  During this time, my principal balance has only gone down a little over $3000.  As I said, interest first and then principal balance.  So, here is my new plan.  I need to find someone to lend me roughly $195,000 (interest free) and then I can pay off Sallie Mae and begin paying off this new lender directly.  The way I see it, if someone has that amount of money they can lend me, then they probably don't need the interest :)  What do I need from you all?  Help me find someone to help me out!  I have asked Oprah, but she never got back to me...yet?!?

Oh, and to add to all this, today I found out that I filed my taxes incorrectly (it is hard to do that from another country I must admit) and I now owe even more money.  C'est La Vie.   

My school schedule

Since some people are interested in what my day looks like, I thought I would provide a little overview on my typical day, as well as my school schedule.

7:30am   Get up, shower and eat breakfast

8:30am  Ride my bike to school

9:00am  Class begins

12:15pm  Class ends and I ride my bike home

1:00pm  Eat lunch, watch something on DVD (usually Scooby Doo, the Nanny, or Golden Girls)

2:00pm Clean the apartment

4:00pm  Go for a run, come home shower

5:00pm  Homework

7:00pm  Prepare and eat dinner, watch TV/movie, catch up with Carsten on his day

11:00pm get ready for bed, read

Now, I finally found out about my school schedule.  It is weird to me that we don't receive anything in writing as to when things happen, but whatever.  So, next week Thursday is another public holiday here in Germany and I again don't have class.  Then, Friday, July 31st is my last day of class until Tuesday, September 1st.  Then I have regular school from September 1st until October 9th.  My orientation course (which is about German life, history, political info, etc.) is from October 12th-October 26th.  Then I am free from school until November 6th and/or 7th when I will have to take my big exam (German Certification).  After that I can chose to do the next level (B2) or stop attending classes and do something else, such as find a job and make some money!

Respect my Authority

I know I don't really have any authority, but something interesting has happened in my class.  On Wednesday I noticed that when one of the students wrote something out on the board she made a mistake and the teacher didn't notice it.  I pointed this out to the teacher to make sure I wasn't mistaken and she had me go in front of the class, correct the mistake and explain why I was right.  Now today right after class ended she stated she wants to come up in front of the class tomorrow and talk about different words related to being in school.  Of course all in German.  Now, I am sure that some of you are thinking, "well after as many years as you have been in school this should be a no-brainer for you."  And to you I would say, "Oh shut the hell up and mind your own damn business."  No, I guess I wouldn't really say that; more likely an F-bomb would drop somewhere in that as well!

Back from a run

This afternoon I did not do too much.  Carsten is not feeling well and will be coming home early from work.  Oh, and early for him and early for a "normal" person are very different.  Today he is coming home at 5:30pm.  I rest my case.

Anyway, I did manage to go for a run this afternoon.  On my way back, I make a loop on my route, I passed a 60-something woman wearing a bikini.  Now, kudos to her for having the confidence to wear this.  But I also must say, why oh why did I wear my contacts running?!?  But I'm not one to judge, I just observe :)

So, my other teacher spoke with me this morning before class about the big test I need to take.  If you read my posts last week, you might remember that I was to take the test in July and it was pushed back to November.  This upset me a bit, but it quickly passed.  Well, now today I was informed that if I want I can take my test earlier than November, but then I wouldn't have anything to do during the day since I am not working and wouldn't need to go to class.  I need to think this one through a bit more, as I am really not sure what is in my best interest.  

Thank you!

I want to say a heart felt thank you to everyone who sent me such touching emails after my "Crazyland" post yesterday.  Although I feel lonely at times, I do know that I am not truly alone and even though my intent with posting my thoughts yesterday was not to have people write me and say such nice things, though it was super to receive them, it was just to share my experience.  Although moving to another country is fun and exciting, their is also the downside and my goal with writing this blog is to share both the positive and negative sides of making such a major life change.  So, that being said, THANK YOU!

View from Balcony

A friend of mine from high school that I have just recently reconnected with asked what the view was from my balcony.  I have been meaning to take a few pictures from my balcony (specifically of my downstairs neighbor but that is another post).  Anyway, her request prompted me to finally do it.  So, here is the view from my balcony.  Thankfully the rain just stopped a few minutes ago and the sun has come out.  

Crazyland

You know how sometimes your in a funky mood, kind of sad, maybe a bit angry, just not yourself.  It's just funky and you don't really know how to describe it; possibly insecure, jealous or maybe you feel overly worried or anxious but you can't really pin-point as to why.  Well,  a friend and I refer to this as Crazyland.  We say we are taking a trip there or have just returned from there, etc.  I think it is a way for us to talk lightly about some unpleasant, and at times, heavy emotions.  That being said, I am clearly on a trip to Crazyland and have been there since sometime yesterday.  My trips there have become much less frequent than at other times in my life, but I still seem to go there periodically.  No, I'm no dissociating.  Anyway, I just feel a bit down and my emotions seem to be on a roller coaster.  I love being here, but miss my life back in he US.  Well, not all of my life, but my friends, family and work.  Finances are an issue no matter where I live, but not being employed really makes things worse.  Some people assume that my life must be so easy since I am not working and Carsten pays for the household expenses.  Well, I don't know how to respond to this.  Yes, he does pay for the household expenses, but I also do the cleaning and maintaining the house, which really is a lot of work, especially with two cats that leave cat hair everywhere.  Of course being in school to learn a foreign language is also work, as my mind is always going and rarely shuts down.  Since I'm still responsible for my student loan payment every month that causes me a lot of angst; which might be less of an issue if I was working, but it was always an issue in Chicago when I was working, so possibly this really isn't the issue now.  I seem to swing from "I could live here forever" to "I'm sorry, when is the next flight back to Chicago."  I tried to talk with Carsten about all of this last night, but his only response was "Why don't you just make the most of being here."  That is a great response, but how do I do that?  I have no money, I can't interact very well with people, at least I can't talk with them about too many things and really understand what is going on, and I'm lonely.  So, that's where I am at today.  

Nerd Alert, Nerd Alert

It's 9pm and I have had a most productive day.  After my last post, I in fact did do a bunch of homework.  How much, you wonder?  Well, if the pace of the class continues as it has, then I have about 6 weeks worth of homework done.  I ain't braggin', I'm just sayin'.  Oops, sorry; that's the redneck in me.  I guess I've been watching too much King of the Hill :)

I am glad we are having a short week this week.  I am already excited for Friday as we are going to a dance party at the university.  The last one I went to was so much fun that I am still thinking of all the great music they played.  Hopefully this one will be as good!  For the last two Saturdays here, we could have gone out dancing; however, Carsten has not felt up to it.  I have stayed home with him, but on Friday if he still doesn't feel like going out, it is every man for himself...literally.

It's 1:30pm

and I finished the dishes, vacuumed the apartment, scrubbed the bathroom, wiped down the kitchen, took care of the recyclables and went jogging.  I still have over 1/2 the day left?!?  Carsten just put a load of laundry in (he can be so helpful when he wants).  So you know what all this means don't you?  I will now work ahead on my schoolwork.  I am such a nerd!!  I guess it is better than just sitting in front of the TV...or is it?

Happy Pfingsten

Now I know you are wondering what in the heck is Pfingsten.  Well, I have no idea really other than it is Pentecost.  Oh, and that it is a Christian holiday that is celebrated 50 days after Easter.  So, to find out more about Pentecost, click here.  As for my day today, it is a free day.  My plan is to do some cleaning, some reading and probably some laundry.  Yeah for "free days."

Early to rise...for a Saturday

Ahhh, Saturday morning.  A day where I could sleep in and catch up on sleep, or just relax in bed.  However, my body woke up around 7:30am and said "no more sleep for you!"  That being said, it was still a relaxing morning.  After taking care of the morning routine of the cats (cleaning the litter, giving hem food, brushing Zoe) I made some coffee, sat on the balcony and did some reading.  It was so peaceful, though a bit on the cool side.  Carsten slept in as he is not feeling well and most likely needs his to rest.  But once he woke up and we had breakfast, we decided to do something with the day.  Our original plan was to do some biking and then go hiking; however, Carsten said he didn't feel up to it.  Now, if this was the other way around, we would have done it, as that has happened on at least two occasions already.  I pointed this out to Carsten.  His response..."just because you tell me you don't feel well, I don't really know how you feel.  Now I know how I feel and I don't want to do all that."  In the end we went for a bike ride, which turned out to be longer than expected.  In the end we went about 30km, which is roughly 19 miles.  In the middle we stopped for ice cream, as Carsten says it helps his throat.  Funny thing about ice cream.  Not one of my favorites; however, since moving to Germany I feel like I have eaten more ice cream now than I have in the last 10 years.  And that is why I am not losing weight.  It all comes full circle.  

After the bike ride, Carsten sat in front of the computer and I lounged on the couch.  I wish I had Alica's couch...so much better for lounging.  Anyway, tonight we watched the second movie we rented.  Transporter 3.  To say that Carsten is a big fan of Jason Statham would be a huge understatement.  It appears that no matter what movie he makes, we will watch it.  And since we have seen basically every movie he has made, I can accurately say this is by far the worse movie he has ever made.  The action scenes were okay, but the plot was really non-existent and the lead actress was horrible.  Ugh, I even got up to do dishes during the movie it was so bad.  Okay, not a good example since I am always cleaning up around the apartment.  But still the movie was bad and no one should ever watch this movie, if I'm not being too subtle.  

The rest of the day...

After Carsten rested for a bot and I phoned my mom, we got back on our bikes and rode to IKEA and another furniture store.  We may have found new mattresses for our new bed, which should arrive by the beginning of August.  I also found a couple of area rugs I really like.  I feel we need to get some rugs soon, as the wood floors are getting scratched more and more.  Carsten wants to wait until the furniture arrives.  Though I can see his point, that doesn't really help the floors now.  Anyway, it was a nice little trip.  It was about 6 miles there and then we took a little bit longer way home.  Once back home, I made us some soup for dinner, to help Carsten's throat, and we watched Madagascar 2.  It was cute and had some funny moments, but the first one is definitely better.  That being said, one song did appear in the film that I absolutely loved.  To hear it, click here.  

A beautiful Saturday

The weather today is quite spectacular.  It is sunny, with a mild wind and warm temperatures, though not hot.  So far today we have had breakfast, went to the video store to rent two movies, and then rode our bikes into the city centre to go to the farmer's market to buy vegetables.  We walked around the city for a bit and did some window shopping.  Carsten isn't feeling well so we got some ice cream to help his throat (wink, wink).  He'll use any excuse to eat ice cream.  We took a longer way home and now Carsten is resting.  I am not sure what the plan is for the rest of today (other than watching one of the movies), though tomorrow I know we are planning on doing some biking and hiking, as the weather is suppose to be good tomorrow as well.  

One of my two favorite Chicago events!!!

This weekend is Mayfest in the Lincoln Square neighborhood of Chicago.  It is one of my two favorite events.  The other event is Octoberfest, also in Lincoln Square.  I have gone to this festival so many times now, and each time I have a blast.  It is always a great time to catch up with friends, drink some beer (usually too much) and be outdoors.  My mom and brother have even come down from Wisconsin to join me at the event.  So, even though I can't be there with my friends to celebrate, I hope Alica, Holly, Mike, Rob, Ron, Kiely and everyone else have a great time.  Have a beer for me :)

Bring on the tunes...and ice?

Tonight on VIVA (a music channel owned by Viacom, who also owns MTV) was their annual Comet Awards show.  Unlike the Grammy's in the US, or the Echo Awards here in Germany, this award show is not based on any real talent, but more about popularity.  Thus it was pretty easy to guess who the winners would be, even though I only knew a handful of the nominated artists.  A group I like a lot is Eisblume, and though they were nominated often, they won zero awards.  To see the video and hear the song they performed live, click here.  Another artist I like, who was only nominated a couple of time, is from the region I currently live in.  She performed last night as well, though I can't find the live version on the Internet, click here to see the music video for the same she performed.  And to my surprise, Ashley Tisdale performed a song.  For those of you who don't know her, she is a Disney star like Miley Cyrus, though not as popular.  Anyway, her performance was much better than expected.  She is clearly trying to distance herself from the Disney persona she has been known for.  Here is her live performance, for those of you interested.  And now, to see the last, and a bit of a surprise, performance of the night click here.

After the music show we ended up watching the first ever Ice Soccer tournament.  It was quite funny to watch as nobody could really stand up well on the ice and then to have to kick the ball was quite hilarious to watch.  The players were all affiliated in one way or another with professional soccer, but that didn't really help them on the ice.  

Let the 3-day weekend begin

It is Friday afternoon and I have no homework this weekend, as I already finished it.  We did the big grocery shopping last night and I just finished wiping down the kitchen and bathroom and vacuumed the entire apartment.  That means I am all set for the long weekend.  Yes, we have yet another public holiday her in Germany; this one though is on Monday.  I am looking forward to doing some reading, maybe some biking and perhaps catching a movie on DVD or something.  Of course I will also try to go jogging this weekend.  I may not be losing weight, but my legs and ass have never looked better (or felt tighter but that is another story) and I feel healthier than I ever have.

Oh, and only one more month and some of our furniture should be arriving...yeah!!  At the end of June we are expecting our living room and dining room furniture and then at the end of July/beginning of August our bedroom furniture should be here.  Not that I counting the days or anything like that :)

The run helped

I too am a bit surprised, but the run did in fact help my headache.  Shortly after I started running it was completely gone.  So, then I did a bit of cleaning and once Carsten came home we went grocery shopping.  This way we don't have to do it on Saturday and can have more free time to play in the city centre.  

As some of you may know, I thoroughly enjoy British TV shows.  I own several on DVD and can watch them over and over again.  Last summer I bought the complete series of Spaced, though I had never seen it before.  Well, tonight I finished watching season 1 and I loved it.  Carsten didn't seem to care for it as much, but that just means I can watch it in silence :)  Anyway, if you are interested in watching the first episode in its entirety, go to youtube or click here.

My head hurts!

I woke up this morning with the most massive headache.  This time it isn't allergy related or anything like that.  Nor did I sleep "funny" as my head hurt a little last night.  I think this is just a plain old headache.  I took some aspirin this morning, but that didn't help.  After class I took some more aspirin, but still no relief.  I even took a nap thinking that might help some, but no.  So, now I am thinking about going running.  Laugh now, but sometimes when I have a headache and go running it goes away.  I wonder if it has something to do with the increase blood circulation, but I'm no medical doctor, so what do I know.  The weather is perfect for a run, cool and cloudy.  If only I had a bit more energy.  

My bike is better

Carsten was able to take my wheel today to get fixed, which means I can ride my bike to school tomorrow instead of walking.  Although it is a nice, relaxing walk; riding my bike is much faster.  Plus, if the weather is bad, I would rather ride my bike and be out of the bad weather instead of walking in it.  I am feeling like I am ready for the weekend to get here.  Not that I have any plans, but still, I don't want to go to school and would rather be able to sleep in or do something fun.  

A major change with my class

Today one of my teachers asked me to stay after class to talk about some things.  We ended up talking for 45 minutes about the class, my plans for the future and how things are going for me in Germany.  She stated that she and the other teacher were talking about me and though they have initially thought I could make the B1 test (a much needed test for me) at the end of July, they have now decided that I should wait until the end of October or beginning of November and take the exam with everyone else in the class.  She added that though she thinks I am doing well and she knows I am bored in the class, she is worried that after the class I won't find work right away and then will just sit at home.  Her argument is that this way I can be in the class longer, better my German language skills and continue to look for work, or even work part-time, which is what I am more likely to find here in Freiburg.  When she told me I immediately felt a bit sad.  I think my first thought was, "I failed again."  Now I think what it means is I can relax a bit and not have to work so hard with homework and trying to cram the exam in by the end of July as originally planned.    Of course, my mood and mind could change back the the other way of thinking in a matter of seconds!!!

One of those days

Have you ever woke up and thought "Ugh, I do not want to get up today?" Well, today was not that day, but it seems it should have been.  Here is how it all went down.  

I woke up and saw Carsten was already awake in in the shower (I know, nice visual).  I laid in bed and then after a few moments got up and made the bed.  After getting ready for the day I went down to my bike to head off for school; however, my front tire was completely flat.  Not sure what happened as it was fine yesterday when I got home from school.  Anyway, Carsten had already left for work and I couldn't take the "extra" bike as the peddle broke off last week.  I went to call Carsten with the cell phone I am using; however, the battery was dead, which is weird since yesterday when I checked it the battery was half-full.    So, that meant I had to walk to school, and fast.  I made it only 10 minutes late and was completely covered in sweat as it was another warm morning.  My class was okay, one incident happened but in the grand scheme not too bad, just irritating.  It rained while I was in class but thankfully it stopped before I had to walk home.  The trek home was okay, as it was no longer as warm.  It was clearly going to rain again and that it did, but I had already made it home by the time it happened.  So now it looks like tomorrow I will be taking Carsten's bike to school and he will take my bike to the repair shop, since the shop is close to his work.  Coincidentally this is the same tire this shop repaired not too long ago.  

So, to take my mind off of an annoying day, I have been watching The Nanny.  That show still makes me laugh after all these years.  Now I am back to doing homework and then later I will make dinner.  Tonight it is a big salad and boiled kohlrabi.  Don't be jealous :)

Oh, and I can't get this song out of my head!

It's been one year!

It was Memorial Day weekend 2008 that Carsten left Chicago and moved to Munich with Zoe and Lela.  That means it was also one year ago that I was hopping from place-to-place for the summer.  Though it was a bit of a pain to never feel settled, I had a great time with everyone I stayed with.  It is hard to believe it has already been one year since I went through that.  I have been living in Germany for almost 8 months now; that is also hard to believe.  Sometimes it feels like I just got here and other times it feels like I have been here forever.  

I am asked often when I will be back in the States for a visit.  That is such a hard one to answer.  It would be nice to be home for a bit before the end of this year; however, Carsten thinks I should focus more energy on finding work (which is also a good idea).  I stated I think I should go for a visit before I begin working since I don't think I find a job that will give me much vacation time.  Of course it all comes down to money and being able to pay for a ticket, my student loans and everyday expenses.  All of this also depends on my classes and my schedule with that.  I am not exactly sure when I will finish my integration course, though I believe it is the end of October sometime.  If only I was independently wealthy and Sallie Mae was out of my life :)

It's soooo hot here!!

For the past two days it has hovered around 90 degrees and it is a bit gross, especially since I have to bike everywhere.  This means I am constantly sweating!  Ewwww!  It also makes it hard to be motivated to do much.  For example, when I got home I decided to vacuum.  Why would I do that?  I was so hot afterward.  Now I think I will sit outside on the balcony and do some homework.  It really isn't that much different sitting out there or in the apartment, so I would rather have the fresh air.  

A day of rest

Today was such a peaceful day, though really hot!  The morning started out great and after a yummy breakfast and starting reading my next book I decided to go for a run again today.  Though it was a good run, the heat really got to me.  It was about 90 degrees today and sunny...all day long.  After my run and spending a couple hours trying to cool off I did some more reading, watched a couple episodes of Planet Earth (love that program so much!) and phoned my grandma so she wouldn't get lonely this Memorial Day weekend when so many others have plans out of town.  Carsten made a great dinner tonight, Sweet and Sour Chicken, and now I am planning on sitting out on the balcony and enjoy the evening, while Carsten watches a popular German crime series.  Tomorrow I am back at school and then my normal routine of homework and cleaning in the afternoon.  We have two more holidays in June, which means I have some short weeks ahead :)

Just chillin'

What a relaxing day.  After my run, I spent the rest of the day sitting out on the balcony and enjoying the weather.  I was also able to phone a few people and catch up on all the latest happenings back in the states.  A friend of Carsten's asked if we would be attending a party tonight, but Carsten said that after last Saturday night he was not in the mood to go out.  Though I would have liked it, I don't know how I feel about this friend of Carsten's and the thought of going alone and not really being able to communicate fully was a bit intimidating for me.  Maybe net time though :)

Just finished the book

Today has been a pleasant day overall.  We got up and had a very yummy breakfast and then headed off to the city centre to the farmer's market.  We bought some produce, did some shopping and then came home.  Since I arriving home, I have been sitting out on the balcony reading.  That's right, I finished the book I started yesterday.  Loved it!!!  The author doesn't sway much in terms of plot; all three of his books are quite similar, but if you like murder mysteries and thrillers, then you would like his books.  The next book I am going to begin reading (likely later tonight) is The Return of the Dancing Master by Henning Mankell.  But now I will go help Carsten clean the car and then go running...the day it too beautiful not to go and enjoy it.  

A relaxing end of the day

Since I finished my new book and Carsten coincidentally bought a new book that I wanted to read, I started in on it right away.  I was able to read much more of it than I anticipated, mostly because Carsten returned home 2 hours later than he said he would be home.  For punctuality to be so important to Germans, this does not seem to apply to Carsten.  But I digress.  The new book I am reading is called Whispers of the Dead by Simon Beckett.  This is his third book and I have read and enjoyed his first two so I am assuming this one won't be disappointing.  Other than reading the new book, I spoke with my friend Craig on the phone for close to an hour.  Now I am just glad the weekend is here.